The 24 Parody Project: ReBauered
by Spencer44
Summary: This is a reboot of The 24 Parody Project series I did many years ago. It is a spiritual successor to the main series, as it uses characters and references to the entire series run (including Live Another Day), though it is not canon to the events where the series left off (some characters are gone, some have come back).


The 24 Parody Project: ReBauered

7:00am-8:00am

Disclaimer: 24 is copyright FOX, and its creators Joel Surnow and Robert Chochran. I am not nor do not know nor do not own any rights to the series' cast, crew, locations, equipment, terrorists, or the digital clock. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only.

**Beep. Beep. Beep. Beepbeepbeepbepebepbepbepbepbepbepbepbep**

**= = = 24 = = =**

**Jack: Previously on 24.**

Meanwhile at CTU.

Chloe: SHUT IT DOWN!

CTU powers down everything.

Chloe: I didn't mean cut the lights! I can't see a thing in here! OOF! I tripped!

CTU Analyst: Someone just shot Danny the intern!

Chloe: I don't have time for this! **[Chloe O'Brian]**

At the White House.

President James Heller: This country is in dark, troubling times. As your newly elected President, even though I already served two terms but we can gloss over that, I promise to bring change to this country. I can only do this with the help of my beloved daughter and Vice President, Audrey Raines-Boudreau-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure.

Sherry Palmer walks up on stage.

Heller: Um…where's Audrey?

Sherry: She's not tied up in the White House Basement, that's for sure! Excuse me.

Sherry approaches the podium.

Sherry: As your newly elected Head Of Chief Of Staff, I promise to bring change to this country! (shakes fist)

Off to the side, The President's advisors, Tom Lennox, Mike Novick, and Lynne Kresge watch the presentation.

Lynne: I thought she didn't work here anymore.

Mike: I thought she was dead!

Tom: What…what is this? I'm the Chief Of Staff!

Sherry (hand over the microphone): I know, and I'm the "Head" of it. That means I'm YOUR boss.

Tom: What!?

Kim Bauer shows up next to them.

Kim: Okay! My notes are caught up. I'm just missing one thing…who is the President?

Lynne: I can't believe Jack Bauer was able to pull strings to get her on the White House Staff.

Mike: I thought she was dead!

Tom: I think I need to lie down. **[The White House]**

Meanwhile, on a beach somewhere.

Michelle Dessler takes a drink of her beer and watches the ocean.

Michelle: Ahh…this is the life. I could use another beer.

She reaches over and pulls out a toy shovel covered in sand.

Michelle: What the hell?! TONY!

Tony comes up.

Tony: Yeah, I had to ditch your beers to make me a sand bucket for the awesome sand castle I'm building. I'll take that. Yoink!

He grabs the bucket.

Michelle: That's okay, I can still relax.

Tony: I can drink your last beer to that! (takes a drink) **[Tony Almeida]**

Michelle: GASP! What was that!?

Tony: What was what?

Michelle: That! You just got "boxed"!

Tony: What?! Girl, you crazy!

Michelle: Are…are you in the middle of a "Previously on 24" segment!? You're supposed to be dead like me!

Tony: Yeah…about that. I kinda survived Season 5.

Michelle: You have GOT to be kidding me!

Tony: And I pulled some strings…

Michelle: No!

Tony: And talked to the producers…

Michelle: Please tell me you didn't….

Tony: And after some last minute discussions…

Michelle: Oh god….

Tony: I got you back on the show!

Michelle: I've got to get out of here!

Michelle leaps from her chair and starts running down the beach. **[Michelle Dessler]**

Michelle: Dammit!

Chloe stumbles into the CTU's Control Room. Otherwise known as "The Bridge".

Bill Buchanan turns around.

Bill: On screen, Number Two.

Milo Pressman: Aren't I supposed to be "Number One"?

Bill: No, I am The Captain, so I am Number One.

Milo: That's not how it works! **[Counter Terrorist Unit otherwise known as CTU]**

Chloe: How is this side of CTU have power!? I've been bumbling around in the dark for 45 minutes in real time!

Bill: Patch me through.

Milo sets up communication.

Bill: Agent Walker, This is Bill Buchanan, Devilishly Handsome Leader of The Los Angeles Counter Terrorism Unit.

At an apartment complex downtown, Agent Renee Walker kicks in a door while drawing her gun. She answers her page.

Renee: Bill, you don't have to introduce yourself like that EVERY time we talk.

Bill: Your mission, no matter what it takes, is to capture and bring in the infamous fugitive…Jack Bauer!

Renee: I know…I've been on this mission for hours! Why are you telling me this again?

Bill: Just bringing the audience up to speed.

Renee: I guess I should have known that.

Bill: Find him, Agent Walker. We must get to him before the CIA does. They cannot be trusted.

His phone rings.

Bill: Gotta go!

Bill cuts communication with Renee and looks at his phone. A picture of his wife, Karen Hayes (about to chow down on some lasagna) appears on screen.

Bill (answering it): Just what I need, a call from my sweetie pie! How are you my little love pigeon?

Chloe: Barf.

Chloe sticks her finger down her throat…a little too far. She lunges for the nearest trash can.

Chloe: BLEEEH! Why did I do that!? Now I'm going to feel like crap for the next several hours in real time…

Karen: I'm good, my little Billy Bear! I was going to let you know that I'll be running late tonight and was going to pick up some Chinese for dinner.

Bill: Sounds delicious! See you tonight, Love Dumpling.

Bill hangs up as Chloe makes her way to the bathroom holding the trash can. Karen gets off the phone and puts on a communicator.

Karen: Agent Morgan, what is your location?

At the same apartment complex downtown, a floor above Renee Walker, Kate Morgan kicks in a door.

Kate: I'm not finding him here.

Karen: As the head of The Los Angeles Central Intelligence Agency otherwise known as the CIA, (dramatically points) I'm assigning you the difficult task of finding and bringing in the infamous fugitive…Jack Bauer!

Karen: I know who you are, Director Hayes, and I've been on this mission for a while.

Karen: Then keep up the good work!

She takes a bite out of her sandwich. **[Central Intelligence Agency otherwise known as the CIA]**

A few blocks over from the apartment, Jack Bauer is running down a back alley. He makes his way across the street and hops on a motorcycle.

Jack: Dammit, it won't work!

Kid: Probably because you didn't put in a quarter…and you just cut in front of me, jerk!

Jack: I don't have time for this!

Jack hops out and shoots out the tires of the Grocery Store Motorcycle Ride.

Kid: HEY!

Jack (to the kid): Can't risk being followed. Dammit! I'm running out of time!

Kid: What is wrong with you!?

Jack takes off running down the street.

**Jack: The following takes place between 7:00am and 8:00am. Events occur in real time.**

Chloe O'Brian is sitting in her car, stuck in traffic. She taps impatiently on her steering wheel.

Chloe: Ugh, COME ON! I'm going to be late for work!

**07:00:18**

Chloe notices her clock still says 6:45.

Chloe: Oh crap, I'm already late!

A man is walking beside the cars in the bumper to bumper traffic. He stops at Chloe's car and tries to open the locked door.

Chloe: AHHH! Hold on.

She tries to unlock it, the man pulls on the handle.

Chloe: Wait! Hold on! Stop pulling on the handle!...Stop!...No!...Don't pull on it…..Hold on, I said!...There!

The man opens the door.

Chloe: AHHHHHHH!

The man points a gun to her face but immediately lowers it. He removes his mask.

Jack: Chloe?

Chloe: Jack!?

Jack: Chloe.

Chloe (shifts her eyes): …..Jack.

Jack: Chloe.

Chloe: Jack, why do you keep saying my name, Jack?

Jack: Chloe….is it really you?

He crams his hand in her face and feels around.

Chloe (getting smushed): UHHHH…..

Jack: So many years have gone by….they've changed you.

Chloe: No, I just haven't put in my Age Defying Contacts yet. They don't make me look younger, they just make everyone else look older….to me.

Jack: I haven't told you the truth about why I'm here…

Chloe: …"here" as in holding a gun to my face in rush hour traffic?!

Jack: I'm….on the run. A fugitive, if you will.

Chloe: Uh, duh, I know that. Both CTU and the CIA are looking for you. You have to come back with me, Jack. If the CIA captures you….that means…..that means….we won't have you. Which is pretty obvious, probably could have come up with something more dramatic.

Jack: I can't Chloe…not just yet.

Chloe: Then….why did you stop me?

Jack: I was going to steal your car.

Chloe: Why mine!? There are tons of cars here.

Chloe notices her car is the only one stopped on the street, traffic is whizzing past her.

Chloe: Hmm.

Jack: I need this car.

Chloe: If you get in this car, I'm taking you back to CTU.

Jack: Then you leave me no choice.

Jack pulls his gun out.

Chloe: Isn't that a little extreme, Jack?

Jack: Get out of the car, Chloe.

Chloe: And WALK to work?! I'd rather be shot!

Jack: I'm not going to shoot you, but I will shoot your tires. I getting really good at that.

Chloe: Oh, come on, Jack! I'm already late for work, Bill is already going to scold me for who knows what else.

Jack lowers his gun.

Jack: Bill is head of CTU again?

Chloe: ….yes.

Jack: I may need his help after all. Okay…..you can take me there.

Chloe: Great! Hop in! Just throw all the Chick-Fil-A bags in the back seat.

Jack: We'll need to find another way….I already shot out your tires.

Chloe: What?! How? When did you do that!?

**07:07:45**

An airplane is sitting on the runway, inside, Tony and Michelle wait for their flight to take off.

Tony: Stupid Skymall! I can't afford anything in here! I'll just steal their pamphlet, that'll show them!

Michelle: Shut it, Tony. I'm so upset I could spit. But I can't since my mouth is dry as a bone, does nobody work on this plane?!

Tony: Ick.

Michelle looks up.

Michelle: And it looks like we're the only seats that don't have call buttons. That's just great.

Tony: How else did you think I was able to get these seats for so cheap?

Michelle: Dammit, Tony! I was happy dead! Why did you get me back on the show!?

Tony: I can't live without you.

Michelle: Aw, that's sweet.

Tony show her the Skymall pamphlet.

Tony: This Snow Cone machine…I can't live without it. How much does it cost?...(skims the pamphlet)….The take Country Currency? What is that like…any type of currency or…..(continues reading)…oh, no, I have to use actual Countries I own as currency to buy stuff from here. Well, that's much less ridiculous.

Michelle: Whatever. I'm going to the bathroom, I'm dying for a drink.

Tony: Geez, Michelle. You're going to drink the water from the in-flight toilet? Have some restraint, woman!

Michelle: I'm talking about finding a drink cart, stupid!

Tony: Well, don't say you're going to the bathroom followed by "you need a drink". It makes people start to wonder. Look at Gladys Kravitz over there in the next aisle, she's already giving us the stink eye. (leans over, pointing to Michelle) I DON'T KNOW HER!

Michelle: I'm getting up.

Tony: Get me a "Mr. Pibb".

Michelle: You'll get a "Dr. Pepper" and like it.

Tony: NO! They're two totally different drinks! Michelle!

She heads to the back of the plane.

Tony: MICHELLE!

Tony spots the nosy woman looking at him, then saying something to her husband.

Tony: HEY! Don't make me come over there!

Meanwhile, in a stolen car.

Chloe: ANOTHER terrorist attack on The President?! You mean Heller? He just got into office like 5 seconds ago! He hasn't done anything yet!

Jack: The man has some enemies, Chloe. One in particular is dead set on attacking him sometime today.

Chloe: How do you know this?

Jack: Because I worked for him and got Intel on his operation…you could say I was…..A MOLE!

Chloe: GAAAAAAAASP! (HACK! HACK! COUGH! COUGH! COUGH!)….ugh…okay, there's some funky looking mist seeping into the car, I probably shouldn't have drastically inhaled just now. Now my lungs hurt.

Jack pulls out a locket.

Jack: It's the least I could do after all the trouble I put Audrey through. This was the locket I was going to give her.

He hands Chloe the locket. She opens it to find a picture of Jack giving Audrey the locket.

Chloe: ….This picture doesn't make any sense.

**07:15:22…07:15:23…07:15:24…07:15:25**

**Jack is dodging in and out of traffic.**

**Michelle is waiting in line on the airplane.**

**Kim is trying to make some breakfast.**

**Kate is looking at some photos on the wall.**

A door kicks open. Kate spins around to see Renee pointing a gun at her.

Renee: Well, well. What have we here?

Kate: Agent Walker. Always a pleasure.

Renee: I assume we're both here for the same thing.

Kate: I'm not looking for a new place, that's for sure.

Renee: What do you want with Bauer?

Kate (smiles): I'm bringing him in for questioning. Not that it's any of YOUR business.

Renee: Well, we actually need him for something useful. Not one of the CIA's time wasting shenanigans.

Kate: Well, I'm sure we both can come to some sort of agreement and can both decide on….CHAIR!

Kate hurls a wooden chair at Renee and starts firing at her. Renee takes over outside of the room as Kate makes her way out of the window onto the fire escape. Renee peeks back in to see the empty room and chases after her.

Renee (climbing the fire escape): Who yells out the object they're going to throw right before they throw it?

At the White House, Tom makes his way into the kitchen, which is billowing with smoke.

Tom: What is going on here?! Is the White House on fire?! Someone get the President in his Fire Resistant Onesie!

Kim: It's okay! I'm just making the President his famous Presidential Breakfast.

Tom: Nonsense! We have cooks for that!

Kim: They're all cooking something for Mrs. Palmer.

Tom: GUH! She does NOT call the shots around here!

Kim: Darn! I'm out of milk. I'll just run to the store.

Tom: Take Agent Pierce with you.

Kim: Oh, I'll just run downstairs to the Market.

Tom: Downstairs to the what now?

A door opens up as Tom and Kim step into the Presidential Market, located in the Basement.

Tom: How long has this been here!?

Kim: The year was 1532…

Tom: The White House wasn't built yet.

Kim: George Washington was on the rise of his Presidency.

Tom: 200 years before he was born. Okay, sure…

Kim: He would come to this exact market…and always get a fresh batch of wood polish for his teeth.

Tom: Urban Legend.

Kim: He would turn to his best friend, Benjamin Franklin, creator of the Cotton Gin.

Tom: Eli Whitney.

Kim: And say "Benny….if I die today…..say for instance in an assassination while I'm watching a play..."

Tom: Seriously!?

Kim: "You shall be my successor. As the 16th President of the United States Of America!"

Tom: Benjamin Franklin was never…..wait…16th?! How is that even possible after the FIRST President?

Kim: …..The Electoral College!

Tom: Okay, you obviously have never been to History class….or a Math class. I don't even know why I'm here, I need to be scolding someone else.

Tom kicks in a door, Sherry is in the bathtub.

Sherry: TOM! What is the meaning of this?!

Tom: What is the meaning of THIS!? What is the meaning of…THIS?!

Sherry: You just…said that twice.

Tom: Listen, toots!

Sherry: TOOTS?!

Tom: I don't know what business you have here. But as far as I'm concerned, I'M running things here with the Presidential Advisory staff. I honestly believe you don't even work here! So I'm taking the kitchen staff and….

Tom picks up a bottle.

Tom: The rest of my Calgon Bubble Bath!? Okay, you've gone too far, Missy!

Tom storms out of the room.

Sherry: Oh, Thomas….I'm only just beginning to go too far.

One of the cooks hands Sherry a plate of breakfast.

Sherry: There is no limit on how far I will go. Just. You. Wait.

Sherry's breakfast slides off the plate and into the bathtub.

Sherry: DAMMIT!

**07:27:22**

Jack and Chloe are still stuck in traffic.

Chloe (reading TV Guide): "Jack and Chloe start another amazing Season of 24 filled with action, suspense, and explosions."

Chloe looks around at the bumper to bumper traffic.

Chloe: I'm not seeing it.

Jack's window gets shot out.

Chloe: OH FUDGE!

Jack: Dammit!

Chloe: What was that!? Did you hit something?

Jack: No…I think I've been found.

Chloe: You didn't say you were being chased! I wouldn't have picked you up! My poor car.

Jack: This car is stolen.

Chloe: I'm talking about the one we left in the LAST traffic jam. The birds are probably having a field day with it.

Jack: Hmm.

Chloe: They're pooping all over it, you see. Birds like to do that.

Jack: I don't need you to remind me on how Birds "work".

Chloe: That sounds like a story I may need to hear later. It's now in my memory vault. Along with the rest of the endless amount of knowledge that's stored in my big, beautiful brain.

Jack rear ends the car in front of him. Chloe bangs her head on the dashboard.

Chloe: And now I just forgot everything.

Jack: It's a Sniper! We have to get out of the car.

Chloe: Jack, I know I just knocked my brain loose but even I know that's a bad idea.

Jack: We're sitting ducks here. We have to keep moving!

Chloe: But I don't wanna!

Jack: DAMMIT CHLOE! I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Chloe: Oh, you're always running out of time….whatever. Let me grab something to stop my FACE from bleeding everywhere.

Jack: Let's move! GO! GO! GO!

Chloe: Why are you climbing over to my side? AHH! Stop pushing me! You have your own damn car door to get out of!

**07:30:59…07:31:00…07:31:01…07:31:02**

**Jack and Chloe (with a towel on her face) are running down the street dodging gunfire.**

**Bill is watching Renee's progress on the CTU Main Screen.**

**Kate is running across the roof. She takes cover to load her gun.**

**Michelle is making her way back to Tony on the airplane.**

Michelle: Tony…..Tony?

Tony (sleeping, muttering): No Grandma…no more cookies. If I get fat and Johnny doesn't ask me to prom I will literally just die!

Michelle slaps Tony in the arm.

Michelle: WAKE UP!

Tony: AHHH! What do you want?!

Michelle: I think we have a problem.

Tony: Was it the old lady again?

Tony yells at the woman in the next aisle.

Tony: HEY! Judge Rude-y! I don't need any of your crap! You wanna take this out on the tarmac?

Michelle: No, doofus! I just overheard someone in the bathroom.

Tony: Gross!

Michelle: Ugh. I think someone is planning something. I overheard them saying that "everything is going according to plan".

Tony: Who cares? I always say that after it's been a while since I've went. Thank goodness there's fiber.

Michelle: Ew.

Tony: And I always say "Everything is going according to plan."

Michelle: EW!

Tony: All trains have left the station!

Michelle: Do you not hear me saying "EW"!? Stop talking! We have to see what he's up to.

Tony: Yeah, and I'M the gross one.

They start to leave but the stewardess stop them.

Stewardess: The plane is about to take off, I'm going to have to ask you both to sit down.

Tony: Finally! My hammies are bushed!

Michelle: We need to investigate something! It's a matter of National Security!

Stewardess: Really? Who do you work for?

Michelle: The Los Angeles Counter Ter…

Tony clears his throat.

Michelle (looking at him): What?

Tony: I only got us back on the show…we don't have our jobs back at CTU. So TECHNICALLY….we're off the clock.

Stewardess: In that case. Please have a seat and we'll take your drink order shortly.

Tony and Michelle sit back down.

Michelle: At least I'll finally get my drink.

Tony: You're gross.

Michelle: What did I say that was gross?!

Tony: You're just gross.

Tony spots the old woman shaking her head.

Tony: THAT'S IT! I'm throwing her off the plane.

Michelle: Tony! No!

**07:42:11**

Renee catches up with Kate and opens fire. She notices she's out of ammo. Kate sneaks around and appears at Renee's side, aiming her gun.

Renee: Damn….

Kate: Listen….I don't want to hurt you.

Kate walks forward as Renee (hands raised) backs toward the edge of the apartment roof.

Kate: Maybe we should work together to find Jack.

Renee: I'm not an idiot. There's no way we would work together.

Kate: I'm just trying to reach a compromise here.

Renee: We'll agree on this….

Renee looks backward off the edge of the building.

Renee: You go home with your tail between your legs. Get fired for your incompetence. I find Jack and bring him back to CTU. We save the world and I get a nice bonus which I spend to finally get a CD player installed in my car because those stupid tape cassette adapters are terrible and NEVER WORK! How does that sound?

Kate: …OR….

Renee falls backwards off the roof of the apartment complex. Kate runs forward to the edge to see Renee fall into the back of a garbage truck.

Kate: She thinks she's so cool…..I can fall into trash if I wanted to….I just don't want to.

Renee's phone rings.

Renee: This is Walker.

Bill: Agent Walker….this is…

Renee: Bill. What is it?

Bill: Abort your current mission. Chloe O'Brian is bringing Jack Bauer in right now. They are currently under fire and….(looks at a report)….Chloe just broke all the bones in her face….whatever that means.

Renee: I wish you would have told me this a few minutes ago. I'm on my way…..maybe after a shower.

**07:45:12…07:45:13…07:45:14…07:45:15.**

**Tony and Michelle are getting escorted off the plane.**

**Chloe is trying to reposition her nose.**

**Renee is swimming in garbage trying to find a way out of the truck.**

**President Heller is eating breakfast.**

Michelle (to Tony): You just couldn't let it go! You had to antagonize that stupid old woman and now we have to find another way back to Los Angeles!

Tony: I antagonized her?! She started it!

Michelle: Oh, real mature Tony.

Tony: Oh, I'm not finished with her. The next time we get a chance….I'll finish this.

Michelle: Stop talking! We need to rent a car.

In an abandoned warehouse.

Jack: Are you done bleeding? It's really slowing us down.

Chloe: Seriously!? You did this to me!

Jack: You wouldn't have banged your head if you were wearing your seatbelt.

Chloe: Yeah, well…damn, he's got me there. Hold on, I think it's all cleaned up.

The sound of a gun cocking is heard, Jack and Chloe turn around.

Man: HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD NOW, BREWER!

Chloe (to Jack): Did he just call you "Brewer"….must be the accent.

Jack: No….I know this man. He knows me as….Jack Brewer.

Chloe: That's a terrible alias, Jack.

Jack: Well, what would you suggest?

Chloe: Anything that doesn't sounds like your real name is a good start. Change your first name at least!

Man: I'M NOT GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF! HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD!

Chloe: He…just repeated himself.

Man: DO IT OR I WILL SHOOT YOUR FRIEND IN THE FACE!

Chloe: OH COME ON! Hasn't my face been through enough!? That sounded bad…

Jack raises his hands.

Jack: Do what he says Chloe….let's see where this takes us.

Chloe: But I'm supposed to get you back to CTU and get a bonus so I can finally get a CD Player installed in my car because those tape cassette adapters are awful!

Jack: Just do it, Chloe.

Chloe raises her hands.

Man: GET ON YOUR KNEES!

Chloe: Oh my god, stop screaming! We can hear you!

Back at the White House. Tom storms into the break room as Mike and Lynne are discussing hot topics.

Mike: Kids these days. Why I outta…

Lynne: What the hell are you talking about!?

Tom: FUMES!

Mike and Lynne look at Tom.

Tom: …FUMES!...FUMES I SAY! I….HAVE THE FUMES!

Lynne: What's your problem?

Tom: Palmer! Just walking in here….OOH! She makes me so mad.

Lynne: Then do something about it, sheesh! How about you throw her down a stairwell….MIKE!

Mike: Not letting that one go, are you, Lynne?

Lynne: I am not.

Tom: There's got to be a reason why she's here.

A scream is heard in the hallway. The three of them run out to see the commotion.

Tom: What's going on!?

An ambulance team rushes a gurney into the Dining Hall.

Secret Service Agent Aiden Pierce walks up to Tom.

Pierce: The President was just poisoned…..apparently from the breakfast he just ate.

Tom sees Kim standing by, shaken.

Tom: Kim! What did you do?! You poisoned the President….in the first hour?!

Kim: I didn't do it! See? I have his breakfast right here. I haven't had a chance to serve it to him yet!

Tom: I don't understand. There was no cooking staff available since they were cooking for Sherry.

Mike: Then who made the President breakfast?

Lynne (reading Tv Guide): "While Jack Bauer tries to save the world, The White House Staff investigates a thrilling mystery."….Yeah, not so much.

**The EMT's wheel President Heller down the hallway to the Helicopter to rush him to the hospital.**

**Jack and Chloe are tied up while the mysterious gunman is on the phone.**

**Kate continues looking around the apartment for clues on Jack's whereabouts.**

**Renee gets into a Taxi. The other person sharing the taxi bails out of the cab in disgust.**

**Bill Buchanan retreats to his office.**

**As does Karen Hayes to her office.**

**Tony and Michelle are driving a rented car back to Los Angeles.**

**Sherry is putting on her makeup, getting ready for the day.**

**In the Whitehouse basement, Audrey Raines is still tied up, she manages to break free.**

**The Old Woman on the plane makes her way to the restroom.**

The restroom door opens and a man comes out.

Man: Whew! I'm glad everything is going according to plan! I haven't been in weeks!

Old Woman: That's nice, dearie.

The Old Woman enters the restroom and stares at herself in the mirror. She peels off her wig. The slowly pulls off the facial prosthetics. One by one, pieces of her clothing drops to the ground. The woman flings back her long, brown hair to reveal herself as Mandy, The Assassin.

Mandy: You were a minor setback, Tony Almeida. But now that you're out of the way….everything can go according to plan.

Mandy exits the restroom and joins the old man she was sitting next to.

Old Man: Hey…what happened to my wife?

Mandy: It's me, Walter.

Walter: Mildred!? What happened to you!?

Mandy: Our love was a sham, Walter, I was using you to complete my prime directive. And that is to kill….The President Of The United States.

Walter: But….we've been married for so long! We have grandchildren!

Mandy: I'm very dedicated to my work, Walter. Take comfort in knowing that it wasn't all in vain.

Person behind her: Whoa! Dude! The President was just poisoned! It's looking pretty bad.

Mandy: ….Okay, maybe a little in vain.

**07:59:57**

**07:59:58**

**07:59:59**

**08:00:00**


End file.
